Tag Archive | God

How precious Life is…


Last night I called my Mama and Courtney and wanted to reach through the phone and just hug them both! THIS is the week I have had!

Have you had one of those weeks? One where, you’re stressed  at work, worked too many hours, started your period early, had your cramps and moodiness all at the same time AND screwed up at a new job all in the same week, WHILE working 10 hour days? Then, had to stop your workouts, while still holding on to that 7 pounds because you have tweaked you knee? Yeah, this was MY week!

BUT ALL this does not compare to a phone call I got a few nights ago and this goes back to my first line.  I just can’t get this senselessness out of my head of the last few days. First, let me say that I believe in God and have faith and that I believe that this is the closest to Hell we will ever be and with what just happened in Colorado and what happened to a friend of mine in Detroit, I truly believe that!

We have all heard about the horrific crime that happened at the premier of the Dark Knight in Colorado. As we often hear of these things, it’s sad and horrible  but it’s so often ‘ over there’ or ‘someone else’. Well, that ‘ someone else’ was my best friend’s step sister Jessie. We had been playing phone tag and I couldn’t understand why she’d been trying so hard to reach me. She is in Texas and I am in Michigan. We don’t talk all the time, we have been best friends now for 25+ years…

Kat and Traci

Kat and Traci—way long ago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was calling to tell me her Step Sister Jessie was a victim in the Colorado Shooting.  I just couldn’t believe it, I was like what? Are you sure? She has only been there a month and sadly, she had just avoided a shooting a month ago in Toronto by three minutes because she had an ‘ funny feeling’ and left the food court right before a gun man open fired.

http://jessicaredfield.wordpress.com/

Jessie was studying to be a sportscaster and her a close friend was injured in the  shooting –he is hoping to recover to attend her service today in San Antonio, Tx.

Jessie Redfield

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please say a prayer for their family today! They have also started a fund, you can read about here….

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2012/07/aurora_theater_shooting_jessica_ghawi_scholarship_fund.php

 

 

But as I said, TWO tragedies…

A friend of mine at work, has waited on news about two boys ( 17 and 18) who went missing in Detroit a week ago…

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/story/19130101/bodies-of-2-white-males-discovered-in-detroit

They were found yesterday in an field, kneeling, shot in the head….what is this world coming too? I don’t understand? Granted, as Courtney will tell you, there are certain areas you NEED to have care in, and even in this article they mention, be careful here…but still. They were KIDS! MY KID is this age!

After Colorado I called her, after yesterday I called her, she is SOOOOOOOO far away, I just want her near-I KNOW she is 18, I KNOW I have to let her live her life and let her be ok, but last night, I went to bed at 9:30 just so upset, like  right now as I cry, I just want to crawl into bed with her and watch her sleep! It’s a parent moment, not a husband moment, not a friend moment, I want a Mama moment and I can’t have it, so I am going to send this out to all the parents out there and say hug your kids today, tell them you love them and pray for these parents and families, these brothers and sisters today–for life is just so precious!

Cort and Traci

Cort and Traci

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Plus today is my Sister’s birthday! She is the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful woman of Faith I could know…I am TRULY blessed to have her in my life! I am so thankful, so I want to take a moment and say I love you Lisa and truly, truly, you are just so gracious! Amid all this –you are a shining light!

The girls

The Girls Traci, Lisa, Cort and Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘When we are hurting, confused, and emotionally distraught or even panic-stricken, we desperately seek someone who loves us to listen attentively and sympathetically to our dilemma and give us sound advice. We have this Someone in Jesus Christ. He has told us,” I don’t want you to go through this by yourself. Let’s sit down and talk it over. Let’s decide what the problem is and then you give it to Me and let Me handle it for you. I will do that for you because I love you.” [3] So we let Him talk to us through His Word and we find solace and peace and strength. In His Word we find all that we need!

Thank you for letting me grieve, not sure why I am so upset about this, I just am, I will get back to my normal blog next time! Thank you for listening!

xooxoxoxox

Traci

Inspiration, Prayer and why we help others!


At the check out line a bit ago, my step son told me –‘Traci, you are an inspiration!’

Erik and Traci

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coming from a 20-year-old that meant a lot to me, even when I don’t feel like that…

The reason for this is because I tell EVERYONE about my weight loss. This is not because I am vain. Ok, if I’m  TOTALLY honest I do struggle with this at times but it’s also because if I can reach ONE person whose struggling, who may need help who doesn’t THINK they can do it– that makes my day!

As I have told everyone, I have failed soooo many diets before I found Eat Clean and I am so grateful.

So many things have changed for me. I was reading on Transformations and a lady mentioned prayer and diet and I couldn’t agree more. Every morning on my way to work ( I am in a new job) I pray to stay ‘ in the Spirit’! God has changed me in SO many ways and I don’t for ONE second think He had nothing to do with this for He did! My purpose is to help others who– like me don’t think they can for they are hurting or injured or scared, for we WILL succeed!

Thank you Rhonda for including me, I feel truly blessed. Please read the other stories on here, they are truly amazing!!!!

http://transformationpics.com/2012/07/08/traci-lbs-lost-90/#more-630

Happy Sunday to you all!

xoxoxoxo

Traci

Webble Wobble and they CAN fall down…


Hya,

I know, I know you think I have finally fallen off my walker! Well, not totally! 🙂 I know I also said when I got back from Texas I would do this more often but I have had some things change recently.

I have a job!!! FULL TIME!! WHOOT! NOT sure I am ready for this?  EEK! Lots of phone-time, and crazy, crazy busy!!!!

Also, since I dropped out of Highschool–I taught myself to type. I know, you are asking WHY are you telling me this Traci? Well, since I am a scheduler at a Court Reporting firm, some of these lovely people type 120 WPM! UM HELLO? And, well as I said I taught myself so I don’t use the shift key for caps like most people, so am TRYING to learn this but it’s slowing me down and with my job– I have to know how to type, be REALLY anal and fast–two things I am NOT! Can I learn these things? For cutting and pasting aren’t options apparently. I would miss something yesterday in training and I was like UGH! But they keep telling me ‘ Traci, it’s your third day,  soon it’ll be why were you so worried?’ It’s one data base and it’s the same thing ( yeah, there are variations) OVER AND OVER AND OVER all day long. 🙂 Yeah, I worked at Dell and had three databases and did data entry and I am STILL freaking out! This too shall pass, I know!

I’ve been stressed! I haven’t walked ALL week and –ok here is where you say the TRUTH RIGHT? I am at 159.2! I haven’t been this since I starting losing weight! NOW, first off let me say it’s TRACI’S TIME! But still, RED FLAGS, no pun intended!  But still, this is a warning, a heads up, a get it together Traci! Now, I won’t totally freak out till next week when I can look at the scale and see where I really am. BUT still, OH MY GOD! And, I haven’t really eaten that much differently.  But, I really think walking, even with as slow as I do it– these two miles or so apparently are helping. I  am up at 6:40 every morning and getting home around 6pm and then having to make dinner and blah blah. I KNOW ya’ll do it too, but I am SO not use to this. I’m just going to have to make the time to go walk. I don’t want to get up early (lol) so I may ask my WONDERFUL husband if I can walk before dinner and eat a bit later so I can MAKE sure I go.

First off, I just ordered a Graduation picture of Courtney–will post it when I have it! 🙂 I couldn’t take pictures inside really so we ordered one.

Two, we also had another Graduation, which was Breah’s, Michael’s daughter. As a lot of you know, this is a hard place for us. There is some pain with his daughters per our adoption. It comes down to how Britt found out. We didn’t tell her right, we couldn’t reach her, so she was very angry. She has made it quite clear that she will do what she can to make this not happen for us. She does not live with us, she is in College, but that does not seem to matter. Breah, his other daughter, moved out when I moved back to Texas –over 4 years ago because Michael and I were having problems and well, Cort was in Texas. Courtney had always wanted me to come back to Texas, as I have always wanted her to come here to Michigan.

Breah and Courtney --Wyoming Happier Times

Breah and Courtney –Wyoming- Happier Times

The problem is–I always thought Cort would be here in Michigan! But fighting her Dad was just not going to work, he didn’t want me to have her for his reasons and it just became a battle I was not going to put Cort through.  So, I was always in two places and it caused a lot of issues here, for I struggled. I had one foot in Michigan and one foot in Texas and really it was not fair to anyone. This got better once I moved back to Michigan and married Michael in 2009. I finally accepted that things were this way and Courtney was old enough and going to be ok. Though, as you read from my last post, I will always be a Mama Bear!

Erik, Michael, Breah, Traci-Wedding 2009

Erik, Michael, Breah, Traci-Wedding 2009

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I finally made a promise to Cort that I would come to Texas–I couldn’t break it no matter HOW much Breah wanted me too. I loved both my girls, that was the problem, they both loved me.  Breah wanted me to stay, Cort wanted me to go. So, I left. Michael and I cried in our driveway, it was a very, very hard time.

I got to Texas, Cort was great–at first. The thing was, Cort wanted her freedom. Her Dad pretty much let her do what she wanted–then I come along– I am IN her life, IN her business-we fought ALL the time.

And Michael was so hurt, and it was bad in Michigan –the kids were upset! I was a mess!

I finally broke down and called Michael,  we had a huge fight –I guess that’s normal , we broke up. I was getting it from all sides, it was NOT a good place for me.

But we finally started talking, and discussing everything– Cort and I weren’t even speaking, I didn’t even see her on Christmas…

Three months later I was back in Michigan.

But I lost Breah, I lost Courtney, almost 4 years later I cry as I write this. MY heart still breaks! I recall Breah telling Courtney what a bitch I was AND Courtney agreeing with her! It was brutal!

But the tide shifted when Courtney came to Michigan with lice–I was SOOOO mad, I couldn’t BELIEVE  her Dad couldn’t see that! And I spent ALL my time getting it out of her hair, I ended up getting it. And Michael was great through this. He didn’t freak out or anything and Erik was ok.  And Breah was still here but at first she was pretty upset and she was bad mouthing me and Courtney said to her ‘ don’t you ever call my Mama a bitch’ and things between them have never been the same. It’s just very sad.

So, Breah can’t forgive me, she can’t forgive Michael, and her and Courtney, well, they are very different and this just made the gap widen.

Status as of today…

Breah had a minor car accident, last year I think. She was fine! The thing was, we have this wall of pictures of all us through the years and I was just sitting there crying and praying to God! Saying ‘ please just open her heart’ and 10 minutes later she calls…

She called Michael crying and told him she loved him and didn’t want things  left un-said and they talked.  So, we see her sometimes… but she is still not happy about us adopting I am not sure why? So it’s the white elephant in our relationship.  But  I THINK it’s either because she thinks she’ll be replaced or because Britt is against it. But she won’t talk about it. It seems she comes around when she wants something or when she can ‘ fit us in’! Don’t get me wrong, she is polite and all that but it’s just all surface. I have pushed for more through all this but I am just not sure I want to keep doing that anymore. I keep hoping she will have that ‘ breakthrough’ but I am just not sure anymore if she will have that?

She told me she loves me a bit ago, it was in passing…and she is nice to me, but it’s all on the surface.

But she wants a superficial relationship, a figurehead! Which is hard for Michael.

Hence the student loans for college…Michael is old school. He DOES not like giving out what is in his back account ( I agree). He gave her everything but what IS in our back account, she WAS NOT happy! So, when he mentioned the adoption, she got upset again–of course not talking about it. So, again she is upset with us, since we are a pair.

So, we went to her Graduation. But per Father’s day, she called, for she had a concert that night ( umm hello, could have come by during the day or something but didn’t) , said she come by some day that week–never heard from her. Whatever, I am TRYING to let it go! I mean, jeez, even Courtney called Michael. It just drives me crazy!

Michael, Breah, Britt and Ani

Erik, Breah and Britt

Erik, Breah and Britt

Michael, Breah and Traci

So, this is what is going on in Traci’s life right now! I am trying to get a handle on things, figure out a schedule so I can navigate around a bit. Sorry I haven’t been commenting as much–will try to do more of that. Still reading!!  My aim right now is to try to do this at least twice a week for now. Right now as we speak, I am icing my knee so I can go walk, since I haven’t walked all week and it’s sore for God only  knows why but I can’t afford to make it worse– and I want to walk SO badly I am going to go anyway. LOL

Hope everyone is well!!!!! Miss you  all!

xoxoxoxoxo

Traci

Changes at the WalkerLady House!


Good Morning,

As you can see, I am changing my site around, there are a few reasons for this (thank you Marilyn a fellow blogger who writes often and about such interesting things-you inspire me! 🙂

1.) There are so many things I want to say and I get so intimidated ( trying to recall so far back what I did and didn’t do) and also I have a short shelf life . What does that mean, it means that with my current medical issues ( which I will get into in my next post) I can only be on the computer for a limited time without pushing it. Well, I do anyway. Though I’m now taking medication for pain, it only takes the edge off.

Also, as a side note, I am grammatically challenged. This is not an excuse, or something  of which I’m proud ( my husband taught me something new) ; I’m REALLY working on  this. My husband does TRY to help me, but he’s working on his next book. Check out SwordofShakespeare.com- if you’re  interested. I am just so proud and he’s a damn good writer, so I just wanted to mention it. Either way, you can read some beautiful poetry and stories– which incidentally, is how we met–on a poetry forum. Maybe one day, I will post some of mine.

ANYWAY, back to my comma and semi colon abuse; I am working on it, so please forgive me. I think faster than I can type.

2) So, I am going to have two sections; one for the past, and one for the present. Yes, more work, but then I can write about what is currently going on and still do what I feel is ‘God led’, and help others.

So this is what I am doing; I already have in my head the next few posts, now I just have to get them down on paper.

I’m excited; I think this is going to work out so much better!

xoxoxoxo

Traci

PS, tell me what you think…